Babe, Do you remember this? Do you remember making it?
I remember that day clearly, because it always meant something to me. When we talked about making a door chime for our store, and the thing about the four bells I remember joking and saying:
“The four bells were there to remind us of our family. You, Me, Mali, and a son we hoped to have one day. That way each time it rings when the door opens it's to remind us why we are doing this and we never know what is going to come through that door but we are all here together for it.”
And you said “That the heart was our love protected inside an unbreakable fence we built.”
We laughed a little and the light I saw in your eyes made me feel like I could do anything. We even wrinkled our noses and one of us said “cheesy”. I can't even remember if it was me or you.
I never told you, but after you said that I went to the bathroom and cried a little because of how lucky it made me feel to hear you say that. Maybe I should have. Little things can still be a regret and we never know how much difference they could have made.
This was before Talon was born, and it's kind of funny how that worked out. Call me a Dreamer for the poetry I could find in anything we did, but that's always been me.
Years have passed and I have always kept that with me in plain sight, but the bells don't ring anymore. They fell silent overtime, You and Talon are gone and Mali passed away.
I'm still inside that fence, and I don't think I could ever leave it. I'm the oak in the meadow, and did my best to send my roots deep into the ground to be strong for us and spread my branches overhead so everything around us could weather any storm. You were always that meadow, filling us with beauty and love as if spring was every day. Talon sat beneath those branches after and watched Mali play with unconditional joy and love, he could always close his eyes to touch the cool grass and smell the wonderful flowers your love gave us.
Love and Hope is a part of my being and I can still hear the bells ring on the wind even if they are only a memory. Lately the skies have gotten dark, the wind is cold and never stops. One day, as I get older the branches will break and I will be broken too- even oaks cannot live forever. If the sun ever shines again I can only hope that through Talon he rises from our roots and becomes our oak, the flowers return and all is good. Mali's bark will always echo on the wind and will alwas sleep under the tree.
Someday, someone may find this little thing and I don't think they could ever imagine what it meant to a dreamer such as me. That's the world now.
Love you two always, Mahal