No matter how painful it is writing this, I have to. There are a lot of words and it is no small thing to read, so whoever does, thank you. I am exposing myself at my most vulnerable and doing my best to try to put everything into the right words and hopefully by the end of it you'll understand why this is so important to me to do this. I have nothing left. My son is basically being held hostage. I am trying to be erased. Buried. It's no public secret that I have been trying to reunite with my family for several years due to complicated life issues, but up until recently throughout the whole course of his life it has been very rare that a day or two has gone by without walking him to school in the morning, talking with him throughout the day, and tucking him...

This is a personal letter, and I can't guarantee that there will be anything after this. It's only here to be saved for the future and so that I'm sure they can read it. Diane Talon and Mali:“Forgive Me” Forgive me, please, forgive me.For all of the ways I've failed you,for every tear I've made you cry,for every promise I didn’t make come true. Inside of my head can be an ugly place, decorated with the remains of my regrets, and holds the ambiance of every ghost and fear that I wish I could forget. Each day you see theres forced fake smiles, the ones that vanish when I look into the mirror. Iv’e tried so hard to be strong for you, shield you from the dark I keep in here. But in my silence, I forsake you, ofien leaving you all alone, to wonder what it is that you done, or what truth you should have known. And...

Babe, Do you remember this? Do you remember making it? I remember that day clearly, because it always meant something to me. When we talked about making a door chime for our store, and the thing about the four bells I remember joking and saying: “The four bells were there to remind us of our family. You, Me, Mali, and a son we hoped to have one day. That way each time it rings when the door opens it's to remind us why we are doing this and we never know what is going to come through that door but we are all here together for it.” And you said “That the heart was our love protected inside an unbreakable fence we built.” We laughed a little and the light I saw in your eyes made me feel like I could do anything. We even wrinkled our noses and one of...

Happy Valentine's Day babe. This has been a strange year, and yet things have been going good, I wanted to get you something to make up for your birthday and Christmas for you too, but as you know having to walk away from the company I put so much time into I needed to do for my own feeling of self-worth. You've always told me that material things don't make a difference, but as a man it's always been my heart in the back of my mind that I can do more. I've never been blessed with luck, or a family that could give me things, yet I don't complain about what I have achieved and when you tell me that that's all that matters, you have no idea how much that means to me. I'm just going to recap something I said last Valentine's Day, because they are still the...

"The most terrifying force of death, comes from the hands of men who wanted to be left alone. They try, so very hard, to mind their own business and provide for themselves and those they love. They resist every impulse to fight back, knowing the forced and permanent change of life that will come from it. They know, that the moment they fight back, their lives as they have lived them, are over.The moment the men who wanted to be left alone are forced to fight back, it is a form of suicide. They are literally killing off who they used to be. Which is why, when forced to take up violence, these men who wanted to be left alone, fight with unholy vengeance against those who murdered their former lives. They fight with raw hate, and a drive that cannot be fathomed by those who are merely play-acting at politics...

These things can hold true for anyone in your life- a partner, a friend, a brother. Measure your words and your actions each time you pass each other because you cannot get time back and what you choose to do with it and for it, may be your joy or lament. I have lost much and will lose much, we all do. Today I send a brother to his maker and hope to make good on the things we were, the things we became and the things we aspired to. You were just here a moment ago and we were laughing at the gods, provoking them to action brother; and the only regret I have is not being able to say it one more time- I love you, and will see you soon. "Time enough for the earth in the ground". We had a special relationship and conversations about things I'd venture to...